Two years.

It's hard to believe it's been two years today (Thursday, 6/14) since a single phone call changed everything. I remember the details of that day as if it were yesterday. It's been a long two years. It feels like it's been much longer than that. 

Though I continue to have little complaints here and there, overall I'm doing well. The neuropathy in my hands and fingers is better but still present. My nails are still splitting and breaking and useless. I can't even take the stickers off of my fruits and vegetables at work most days because there's just nothing there. It's not as painful as it used to be though, so I guess that's good. I'm continuing to take a few medications (and a million supplements) and am really sick of swallowing pills.  Better than taking in chemo, I suppose, so I guess I should just pipe down.

I'm also still getting my monthly Zoladex shot, which shuts down my ovaries, putting me in menopause. I still get frequent hot flashes, but they are milder than they used to be, thanks to one of my medications. They feel especially punishing while I'm working, though, when I'm already hot. I'm going to keep doing it for now and not remove my ovaries yet. I already have one more surgery on deck and don't want two right now. 

I'm going to have surgery in the fall to do some reconstruction repairs. Things have settled and are quite asymmetrical at the moment. The right side is tight and smooth due to radiation. The left side is looser, lower and lumpy/rippled. I have some choices to make regarding how involved I want it to be, but the recommendation from Dr. Sherbert is to go in via my existing incision from reconstruction on the left side, push things up and sew things into place, then do liposuction on my belly and use the fat to fill in the lumpiness. I would like to follow that recommendation, though there is a slightly longer recovery if I do the liposuction, which I understand is pretty brutal. Let's just assume I'm going to live to the average life expectancy -- I want to look and feel as good as I can and not feel self-conscious for the next 45 years (85? I have no idea what the average life expectancy is these days). While he mentioned September, I may push it off a bit to have more time to prepare to take two weeks off of work, etc., but I want to do it in 2018 because of insurance deductibles and out of pocket maximums and whatnot. Then hopefully that will be my last major procedure for a long, long time. 

I'm working a lot and really enjoying it, more than I was pre-cancer, actually. I adore all of my clients. Every single one of them has some type of dietary restriction that complicates mealtime for them and I'm happy to make life easier. They all regularly express their appreciation and I think that helps me feel the job is worthwhile also. From dairy-free to gluten-free and all kinds of allergies, they keep me on my toes. One client is allergic to nuts, soy, gluten, dairy, eggs, beans, peas, oats, mustard, avocado... I think that's it. When I started my business, those restrictions would have overwhelmed me, but it's really not so bad! The one who's allergic to garlic just breaks my heart though. ;)

Starting my doula business has kind of been put on the back burner at the moment, but I am moving forward. A friend is finishing up my logo and I've registered my business and have a domain secured. Hopefully soon I'll get around to creating my actual website. I couldn't make it to my final training in May, but there's one available in October, so I switched the date. Maybe after that I'll be more ready to really move forward. I hate to say it, but unfortunately, I can make more money as a chef, so that takes the priority right now. I'm grateful to have a successful business, clients I love and a waiting list of people hoping for my services. I just spoke to my first "real" doula client today, though, which was great. 

OH! I almost forgot. I had a brain MRI several weeks ago. Just standard protocol a few months after the one they ordered at Christmastime. It showed no changes. Excellent. Of course, I wouldn't have minded if it had showed some improvement in the brain damage from chemo, but oh, well. My routine heart check showed everything is working well, so that's good. I don't have to go back to my actual cardiologist for a year. 

I had my first 3-month check-in in April and everything looked good. No sign of anything concerning. My blood pressure has been quite high for the last few months and last week, when I got my shot, it was in a normal range, fortunately. The last thing I need is another medication! 

My hair is getting longer and is curly as ever. I'm going to have to post a picture soon. It's pretty out of control! One year of hair growth, with curls, is not all that long. But at least it's sort of, almost, starting to look like something resembling a hairstyle a person might actually choose. ;)

Ooh! Almost midnight. Going to cross my fingers and post this so it will hopefully go out! :)