Half-Way There!

Three down, three to go! Home from my third infusion, which took hours less than the last two. I don't understand why and I guess I'm not going to question it. Everything's going well and there's not much to report, to be honest! Just plugging away. My mom came down yesterday and we got massages in the afternoon which was nice. She went with me today and we were lucky enough to sit next to my buddy Debbie again. She still had a cute bob last time I saw here and now we have matching haircuts. :)

I've been feeling a little nauseous and having some stomach trouble. It's likely from two of the drugs in particular known to cause stomach issues, but they want to run some tests to rule out an infection. I'm not worried about it. 

I didn't have much time for exercise after the first round of chemo thanks to the strep but did a lot of walking in Toronto and also started yoga this week. My naturopath was amazed that I was out and about so much the day after. Yoga probably doesn't sound very intense, and I've done a fair amount of it in the past, but it was considering the circumstances. He said most people have to take a day to really rest after doing something like yoga. Perhaps I should have. My friend Brooke was visiting from Nicaragua and we were out and about. I still get surprised by how tired I am, even on my "good" days. It's hard for me to not feel like I should be accomplishing things around the house, but I should probably chill out a little more. 

Gilda's Club is across the street from my house, which is awfully convenient. I did orientation there and now I can go to support groups, lectures, workshops, special events and classes like yoga, meditation, art therapy, etc., for free which is great. It couldn't be more convenient. I also bought a package at a local yoga place so between the two I hope to go once or twice a week when I'm feeling good and continuing the walking.

Daniel and I met with the plastic surgeon yesterday, who explained all the ins and outs of both parts of the entire procedure (both his and my oncology surgeon's). We liked him a lot and feel very lucky that we feel like we're in great hands with ever member of my gang of practitioners. There's so much new technology and advancements in every facet of this thing. I'm not sure there's a "good" time to be dealing with it, but I'm glad it's 2016 and not 10 or 20 years ago even. Since my surgery is Nov. 28, I'll probably be laid up through the new year, then radiation starts. 

I think that's about it. Now to drink lots of water, which I'm confident made things so much easier last time. Hunker down for a week and look to come out the other side next weekend. James is excited to spend the weekend at my mom's and one night at my sister's.

I came home from Toronto to two postal service bins full of birthday cards, so thank you to everyone who sent them (or texted or called)! It was an unexpected surprise and nice to hear from so many people. Thank you!

Toronto or Bust

We made it to Toronto! Planned before all of these shenanigans started, we're at a house essentially across the street from Lake Ontario in Toronto with Daniel's mom and stepdad. We don't get to see them nearly as much as we would like, so that alone has been lovely. It's been at least six months since we've seen them and James has changed so much (i.e. she sings nonstop and speaks in full sentences) since then, so I think that has been fun for them. 

Aside from not sleeping very well and some stomach annoyances, I feel great. In fact, for the first time in almost two months I'll go a couple of hours forgetting I have cancer. This is both a good thing -- how wonderful to feel "normal" -- and a not so good thing -- that moment when you see someone staring at you at the store or look down at the book you're reading and it's covered in little hairs  -- and you remember. But those certainly aren't crushing blows, so oh, well. Taking the good with the bad -- my eyebrows are starting to thin (con) but I'm loving not having to shave (pro). I don't worry so much in the open air, but I've been wearing a mask to the store, movies, etc. I don't love wearing a mask, but I really don't want to get sick again so better safe than sorry. 

I've felt so good since the weekend that I spent the first couple of days in Toronto probably pushing myself a little too much. You know when you've got a bad cold or are sick and finally the clouds part and you briefly feel like you can conquer the world? That's how it felt this time (without strep looming!) to come out of my chemo haze. Add that to vacation in a city where I've always spent the entire time walking endlessly and you can easily wear yourself out. 

Yesterday, James woke up really early and we headed out to explore, which turned into a three hour walk. We literally stopped and smelled the flowers (above, with the boardwalk and Lake Ontario just past those trees), hung out at a coffee shop, sat on a bench and looked at cars and "buses" (street cars), stopped at a diner for breakfast (left), walked to the boardwalk, went to the park, and talked to some dogs and kids. I was exhausted and hot by the time we were headed home (full disclosure: I was THIS close to jumping in a cab only to realize we were about a 6-minute walk from home). She was happy and delightful and we had a great time though. When we got home, we all headed to the beach at Scarborough Bluffs -- a hot tip from coffee shop guy -- before heading back home at nap time.

I felt a little tickle in my chest when we got back, so that, and my little nap that turned into a four-hour nap, was a bit of a wake-up call that I need to take it easier. Being forced to be back home for James's nap and bedtime each day probably helps. We get her in bed, clean up, turn on the Olympics and relax. Feeling sleepy but otherwise fine this morning, but I'm going to take it really easy today to be safe. Daniel and the girls are at the beach and I'm hunkered down at home. I started a new book for the first time in about a year, so I intend to read and nap today.

Claire wants to spend some time downtown at some point, we're weighing our indoor options for what looks like will be a rainy Friday and, other than that, we have no real plans. Which is exactly how we like our vacations. We've been cooking at home mostly, but I can't help but scope out nearby restaurants. I saw that a place a few blocks away has buffalo cauliflower so I'm going to have to venture there at some point.

I reached out to a fellow personal chef in Toronto for "nice" restaurant recommendations with veg options for a potential birthday dinner and, unfortunately, it turns out she was recently diagnosed with breast cancer as well. Chemo was pushed back a bit while they do further tests, so she's working some this week. Tomorrow she'll be in this area, so we're going to meet for coffee around the corner. I hate that we have more than being personal chefs in common, but I'm looking forward to meeting her and chatting. 

That's about it. Hopefully I'll keep feeling good for the rest of the trip and back at home until Chemo #3 next Thursday. Appointments with the plastic surgeon and my naturopath as well. Hope everyone's having a good week!

Good News

Well, Chemo #2 has been MILES AND MILES better than last time. I've focused on staying hydrated, which may have helped. I've been able to eat pretty well every day and have mostly been alternating between watching things and napping since Saturday night, including from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. on Sunday. I guess I needed that! Obviously, I may not be out of the woods yet, but I hope I am. So far, so good. I get tuckered out easily -- if I go up and down the stairs, etc., so I need to remember to take it easy even when I feel not so bad. 

Daniel's 40th birthday was Monday and, needless to say, this is not how I envisioned him spending it. No complaints out of him, though, and he managed to go out with a couple of friends after dinner, which made me happy. 

Despite the fact that I didn't imagine leaving my bed today, I made it to my appointment with my surgeon, Dr. Benitez. She said I'm looking great and responding to the chemo, which is great just a few days out from my second infusion. She said visually things look better and the dense tissue is breaking up. I've learned from being in some breast cancer groups online that this is not a given, so the fact that after one full treatment you can see and feel the difference is definitely good news. 

We've set a date for my surgery -- the Monday after Thanksgiving. A lot will happen between then and now. I'm planning on doing bilateral surgery (both sides) for various reasons. It's up to us and covered by insurance regardless. First up is meeting with a  plastic surgeon in a couple of weeks to discuss reconstruction. I'll also be getting an MRI to make sure 100% that my left breast is free and clear so Dr. B knows exactly what she's getting into for surgery. 

Between Dr. Benitez and Dr. Sherbert (the plastic surgeon), we're looking at surgery lasting 3-4 hours per side. The additional recovery time isn't much different whether you do one or two sides. During surgery, they will do a dye test so they can see exactly which lymph node or nodes my breast first feeds into and will remove them. They will test them right there in the operating room to (hopefully) confirm that they are negative for cancer cells as they appear to be. If so, they'll leave the rest. If they show signs of microscopic cancer cells, they'll remove the rest of the eight and the fatty tissue under my arm. 

Anyway, lots of time to deal with all of that. Now to just keep plugging along, going to my infusions and hopefully staying healthy in the meantime. James is returning with the sniffles tonight from her weekend of fun with Aunt Sarah's brood and Gigi and I've learned my lesson. I'll be keeping my distance. I'm tired of keeping my distance from my husband and kids, but I know it's best for all of us in the long run. Hopefully it will clear up in the next couple of days and we can all have some fun together starting this weekend. 

2 Down, 4 to Go

Chemo #2 was today and went just fine. Since my infusions are three weeks apart and my doctor was on vacation for the last two weeks when I went in and saw other people, I had lots of questions for her about various things and it was nice to have answers. So many questions pop up in three weeks. One was about some side effects I had the first time and, though I suspected I was not eating and drinking enough during the 2-3 days I was at my worst, she confirmed that certain effects were from dehydration. So, I'll be doing a better job of that this time and told Daniel to bring me water even when I don't ask for it. I'll need the reminder. 

Of course, the dosages of 2 drugs were much lower this time so I'm hoping to feel a little better and not be down for the count for too long. It was still a really long day, though I got done about an hour or so earlier than last time. It took a little longer to get in, in the morning, so that started us off a little late.

"Us" this time was me and Tara, one of my best friends from college. Despite the circumstances, it was so great to spend the day with her. Fortunately, the chemo room was a bit rowdier of a bunch this week, so we didn't stick out too much with all of our chatting and laughing. The Benadryl got me again -- I think Tara was entertained (and patient). We made a chemo friend who should end up there each time I'm there, so that was nice. Her name is Debbie, she's I'm guessing in her 50s or so and she has liver and pancreatic cancer. She and her husband were a hoot. (Yep, I just said 'a hoot.' It's been long day. Leave me alone). After overhearing some of our tales from college, Debbie asked Tara if we went to Michigan State. However could she have known???   :)

Now to brace for the the wave to hit in the next couple of days. I'm glad I'm a little more prepared, will be able to stay on top of things a little better this time and also know when to expect it to pass. Of course it also stinks to know what's coming too in some ways. But again, I'm hopeful it won't be so bad this time. Fingers crossed. 

While I was getting my infusion, my primary care doctor called and said, while the rapid test showed negative for strep on my throat culture, the lab had called and the 48-hour test came back as positive. I'm so glad I followed my gut, went into my doctors and that they decided on antibiotics. As of right now I finally have no sore throat and my chemo (mild) sore throat shouldn't hit until Monday so I should have a few days off. Everyone will be on high alert at my house for the next few days to make sure no symptoms show up on them and we're prepped and ready to honor the doctor's request to call her at the first sign of anything in Daniel or James. I really kept my distance from both of them and basically locked myself in my room alone so they should be good. 

I missed one appointment this week because I lost my calendar -- and yes I know it's 2016 and I've been putting everything in my phone too, but apparently missed this one. I found it tonight and feel like I can exhale now. 

Talk to you when I get to the other side!* 

* I just realized it's 12:01 and won't get e-mailed out until Saturday morning to those of you who subscribe. SO, this was written Thursday night, FYI. 

Lesson learned

When my counts came back good one week after my first infusion, I asked about what types of precautions I should be taking out in the world. The doctor said it's great that my counts are good, but I should wear a mask in enclosed spaces like movie theaters and "Stay away from sick people." Certainly my toddler with a fever isn't a sick people, right? Wrong. 

James only had a mild fever for less than 48 hours last week and then was back in action. Unfortunately, I caught whatever it was that she had, only her immune system is apparently a lot better than mine right now because this thing has had me down since Saturday night. Fever, super swollen and tender lymph nodes/neck and the worst sore throat I have ever had in my life. I decided I better go to the doctor today, considering I have chemo in a couple of days and there's no way I'm doing this and that at the same time. I'm glad I followed my gut -- they said I absolutely should call them if I'm ever sick. (Good to know). 

I went to my primary care doctor first. Strep was ruled out, but it's a severe sinus infection. Under different circumstances, I would have waited a couple of days, piled up on my natural stuff at home and waited for it to pass (or at least waited a day or two more to go to the doctor). Unsure about whether antibiotics were the way to go given the circumstances, my doctor ( who knows I hate taking antibiotics unless absolutely necessary) contacted my oncologist, who asked me to come right in to get my counts checked first. Ultimately, they decided I needed antibiotics. So, I'll be loading up on probiotics, Gut Shot,  kumbucha and whatnot in the coming days to hopefully keep some of my good bacteria around.

And, as much as I hate taking them, hopefully the antibiotics will have me feeling better in the next 24 hours. As I type this at 1 a.m. Tuesday, I have no fever, so that's good. Maybe I can get one or two days of feeling good in before chemo. I hate that I have had to spend a few of my "good" days in bed, since that's where I'll be next week. 

One of my best friends from college, Tara, is coming down to sit with me Thursday, so it will be nice to catch up with her, despite the circumstances.  Everyone says the first infusion is the worst and I did have larger amounts of some of the drugs, so I hope that's true. Perhaps I'll be back in action a little quicker this time. 

Claire is wrapping up her trip to Europe, so we're excited to see her this weekend, hopefully before I start to feel too crummy. I continue to be thankful for MealTrain, which is totally saving us. Whether homemade or carry out from one of our favorite spots it's all so appreciated, needed and delicious. 

Other than that, not too much to report. I was getting bloody noses for a few days last week so they checked to make sure my platelets weren't low and they weren't. Just general dryness and whatnot I guess. (And I haven't had one since the day I went in -- Thursday -- so that's good).  

My hair started falling out Friday a bit and by Saturday I would barely tug on it or run my hands through my hair and it would just fall out. So a friend came to sit with James and Daniel went with me for the big shave.  It was definitely not easy -- not for the vanity of it. I actually don't much care that I don't have hair (thank you heat wave, maybe?), but it was one more step of this all being real. One more step of me not blending in with the crowd like a normal healthy person. I appreciate all the compliments I've gotten on my little round head. I have to admit, as I see people do double-takes I see the question in their eyes: does she just have a shaved head or... Funny. I guess once the little bit that's left goes, that question will be answered. I never had the guts to shave my head 20 years ago when I thought about it (you're welcome, mom), so, now I know. 

Some people have asked why I only have chemo every three weeks, so I finally asked. I had mentioned that everyone else I know has it every one or two weeks and was just told "everyone is different" and had accepted that. The short version of why I have it every three weeks is: for my specific combination of factors -- the type of breast cancer, estrogen receptor positive, HER2 positive, etc., clinical trials of the past showed that this was the best course of action. Perhaps every four weeks wasn't enough, every two weeks seemed to have no benefit, etc. Somehow they landed at this dosage every three weeks. 

Considering I was down for the count for almost a week, I said, "But how could anyone do this every week? I would literally have zero decent days before I was back at it." The doctor explained that while, yes that is the case for some, while I have it every three weeks I get the drugs in higher doses than those who have it every week or two. SO, while they are spread out, A) that first week is more likely to be a doozy because of the higher dosage and B) the drugs are still in there doing their job until the next infusion, just not so intensely. That's why I am still really tired the other two weeks and need to take it easy even though I may be inclined to be more active while feeling "good" considering the circumstances. Or may be inclined to, say care for my sick child because I mostly feel normal even though I shouldn't. :)

Thank you for your continued words of encouragement, flowers, cards, calls, etc. I suppose there's no way we can personally thank each person who has contributed to the GoFundMe page (and, to be honest, we don't even know who the anonymous folks are at the moment), but it's been overwhelming (in the best way) to be the recipients of such generosity. Even the number of people who have shared it on Facebook is astounding. Thank you all. 

The Other Side

I made it to the other side! I'm still tired every day, but I made it through last week and am happy to feel pretty "normal" other than the sleepiness and being kind of weak, as in, things that I know aren't that heavy (like a bag of groceries or James's suitcase) seem really quite heavy. So, one chemo down, 5 to go. I hear the first one is always the worst and if that's true I'll be happy. 

I sent James ahead to Ionia last week but, by Saturday, I was feeling pretty darn good so I hopped in the car and showed up unannounced. It was nice to see some family and friends. I managed a quick visit to the fair with James when it opened Monday afternoon for a few quick rides before heading back to Royal Oak. I was glad to give Daniel a couple of days of quiet, since he had a lot of work to do. Maybe next time he'll be able to relax a little. 

We have been enjoying amazing food from friends -- thank you so much to everyone who has made or bought us anything. The week post-chemo my appetite wasn't the greatest, but I managed to at least eat a little bit that each person gave us. I should be able to enjoy the food much more this week and next. 

I went in last Thursday to have my blood counts checked and all of them were perfect. I can't help but believe the various supplements my naturopath has me on -- some of which are intended to keep my counts where they should be -- are playing a big part in that. My doctor also wanted one side affect looked into a little further, but that was all clear too, so that's good. I'm grateful for continued good news.

It seems my hair is starting to fall out a bit, so I think I'll be getting it buzzed in the next few days. They said it would be about 10 days and it's been 12, so not too bad. I guess I'm glad it's summer and not winter -- maybe it will feel nice and cool to have even less hair. I'm not sure if I'll get a wig, but I'm leaning toward no. We'll see. Maybe I'll see what I look like as a blonde. :)

On the Upswing

Well, at least I think I'm on the upswing. Turns out this is all quite unpredictable -- a different experience for everyone -- and I'm grateful that next time I'll know more about what to expect hopefully. Because I could actually watch things on Monday, and even joined my family for some vegan enchiladas that came in on the MealTrain, I thought I had made it through the worst of it. Not so!

Yesterday was a pretty rough day. I now have been informed that the side effects of one of my main drugs peaks at five to nine days. Yesterday was day five and hopefully that was the peak. I'll spare you the details, but it was not fun. Another drug doesn't peak for 21 days, right about the time I get my  next infusion, so that's interesting. My brother, sister-in-law and nephew stopped by for a few minutes on their way in from Pittsburgh for some much needed adorable distraction, so that was nice. (I'm talking about Clayton, Joe, not you). 

Today I'm back to being sleepy and lethargic, a little achy. I've eaten some today and look forward to carryout from Greenspace Cafe in Ferndale tonight courtesy of some friends. I'm hopeful that there's not a lot of back and forth with how I feel and that yesterday really was the low point for this go-around.

I was told at some point I would probably lose my senses of smell and taste and it seems like it's already happening. Starting yesterday afternoon, my mouth started feeling burned (like when you drink hot coffee).  I have a very sore throat and unfortunately anything I drink other than water since then hurts to drink. I'm trying to drink a La Croix right now for something different and it burns. 

I was hoping to make it home to Ionia this weekend to see friends and family, all in town for the annual fair. It looks like that might not happen. James is going to go on ahead with my sister on Thursday. At this point, just the few minutes it took for me to pack her bags wiped me out. I've also been looking forward to giving Daniel a few days to himself to work and relax. But I suppose if I'm going to be laying around in bed, it might as well be my own. I'm disappointed to be considering staying home, but I know I need to rest. All the kids (big and small) should feel free to run around and be noisy at Gigi's without worrying about disturbing me or waiting on me. And, really, it won't be very fun to be in bed and hear all the fun times happening downstairs I suppose.  I was hoping to take James on her first kiddie rides during "The Ten Best Days of Summer," but oh, well. Aunt Sarah can do the honors and I'll take over next year. If you are not from Ionia you probably don't understand what a big deal the fair is, or this rite of passage. :) There's a chance I'll make the trip Saturday with my brother-in-law if I'm up to it.

Thank you all for your continued offers to help and checking in to see how we're doing. We're hanging in there and all of your support helps so much!

Sleepy Sunday

Well, the steroids finally wore off and I've had my butt in bed all day. I've been getting lots of inquiries as to how I'm doing so I thought I'd do a quick post before I take more Zofran and nod off again. Last night I started feeling a little achy/fluish and knew things were changing. But, so far, not so bad. 

At my doctor's direction, I've been taking generic Claritin, said to ward off the achy bones and joints the Neulasta is supposed to cause (that drug that helps boost my white blood cells). That hasn't been so bad, so I think it's working. The biggest thing is that I've had zero energy and mostly slept all day. Too tired to watch anything or read, I've mostly been laying here with my eyes closed, listening to podcasts while awake -- I'm grateful to have a backlog waiting for me. 

Our first MealTrain meal arrived tonight from Jason, who I have been friends with for almost 20 years, but don't see nearly enough now that we're living in the same vicinity again. Although I wish it was under different circumstances, it was nice to catch up for a few minutes and dinner was amazing -- tacos for the kids, vegan Indian for Daniel and I. Probably the most I have eaten in days and I've got plenty of soup leftover for lunches this week. Thanks again to our friend Grace for setting it up and everyone who has signed up to bring food by. It's really going to save us. It  was so nice for the four of us to sit down together for a few minutes today - as nice as dinnertime with a toddler can be. Ha. (Note: To anyone making food from July 14-28, Claire will be on vacation with her mom so it will mostly just be Daniel and I eating it, FYI.)

That's about it. I have no idea if tomorrow will be more of the same, better or worse. It will be nice to have these "firsts" over with and know what to expect going forward. Though it's not easy for me, I'm going to do my best to do as little as possible during these days and let the medicine do its job.  

I continue to be grateful for a (more than) capable and involved husband/dad, a super helpful stepdaughter, friends I can text endlessly with silly questions who have (unfortunately) been through this, and friends and family checking in with well-wishes and offers to help. Thanks, everyone. 

Chemo Day 1

One down, five to go. Today was a very long day. We got to the cancer center around 9:30 this morning and got home around 6. They won't always be so long, so that's good. 

The day started by finding out all of the additional scans confirmed what my doctor assumed -- anything that showed up on the initial scans was harmless -- not cancer. A cyst and hemangioma on my liver, which anyone off the street could have. Things like that. And it looks like the cancer isn't in my lymph nodes, which is the first place it would go if it were to spread. SO, we started the day with a lot of good news which we needed after three weeks of bad news. 

Then to the fun stuff. First they give you "premeds" -- anti-nausea medication, IV Benadryl (which made me feel like I'd had a couple of glasses of wine in about two minutes so...not the worst! But glad that didn't last all day). Then they started each of the four drugs I'll get every week, one at a time. Because it was my first day I was given higher doses of certain drugs so it took a lot longer than it normally will. Hopefully things will wrap up by 2 or 3 o'clock next time. 

I feel fine at the moment. One of the drugs is said to upset people's stomachs, especially at the higher dose I got today, but so far, so good. I've been really tired the last few days regardless and today kicked my butt for sure. But lots of people are checking in about how the day went so I thought I would post a quick update. 

Hopefully the steroids will help me to feel good for a couple more days, then I'll probably just feel really run down, maybe a little fluish for a few days. Fingers crossed. They gave me a portable injection thing (that's the official name, I'm pretty sure) that is stuck to my abdomen. It will automatically give me a shot tomorrow night of a drug that will help me produce white blood cells to keep my immunity up and help me fight infection. When it's done I remove it and that's it -- no need to go back to the office to get a 2-minute shot, so that's cool. Next week I'll stop in for blood work to make sure my counts are good.  

That's about it! It was a pretty boring day. Daniel was there with me and it was nice we were at Beaumont, so close to the house and to downtown Royal Oak. He ran out and got some delicious Inn Season for us for lunch, which really hit the spot. More grateful than ever for healthful restaurants in the area. Thanks so much for all of the messages and good vibes today. It's a weird thing to share this so publicly, but it really does help and feel good to read all those messages. So thank you. There shouldn't be too much to report in the next few days. Have a good weekend, everyone!

Quiet Week

There is not much to report, which is a welcome change considering the last couple of weeks. I had a slew of x-rays and an MRI at the end of last week and now we await the green light to start chemo on Thursday. Who ever would have thought I would be eager to start chemo? I suppose I'm not, but rather eager to get this show on the road and get the next 18 weeks over with. Then the surgery. Then radiation. It all sounds like a really, really long time when I think about it and I'm ready to get going. 

However, it has been really nice to have one more week of feeling mostly good, feeling like myself. I hope to retain as much of that feeling as possible. Of course, I can only guess at this point what it will be like and take the word of friends who have, unfortunately, been through this as well. 

I had ONE WHOLE DAY with no appointments which was a nice change, to attempt to respond to some of the well-wishes and clean up around the house a bit. It was also really nice to be able to go out for our fourth anniversary. Thanks to a gift card from a family member, on Thursday we had an amazing dinner at Katoi in Detroit, which has been on my "go-to" list for months. It was one of the best meals we've had in a while. 

James and I attended a friend's birthday gathering on Belle Isle Saturday afternoon, which I didn't think I would get to go to, so that was nice too. Sunshine and friends and music did us both some good. Daniel's been working hard every day and I think the four of us will get to relax and enjoy the day together today. 

I really have no words that can describe how we feel about the outpour of love and support -- in every way -- we have received since we shared my diagnosis. Each day I'm astounded as I watch the GoFundMe page and the MealTrain page fill up. Letters, notes, flowers, cards, gifts -- everything from everyone is appreciated so much. To those of you who have sent Whole Foods gift cards, I went shopping last night and it was so nice to get what we need and want without having to worry and debate about what to buy too much. We have plenty to last us the week (and a few things in the freezer for desperate times). As much as it's out of necessity, it's going to be lovely to get some home-cooked food next week that I didn't have to make! :)

Tuesday I have an appointment to get my port checked, which is healing nicely and only a little sore one week after surgery. That afternoon I have been gift a facial, which will be lovely. Wednesday will be quiet, then, if everything goes according to plan, we start chemo on Thursday down the road at Beaumont. With as many times as I've had to come and go in the last couple of weeks, it's been really nice to live only three miles away from most of my appointments. 

Thanks again everyone. Hope you're all having a great holiday weekend!

GoFundMe and MealTrain

It is seriously astonishing how much support we already have gotten in the handful of days anyone outside of our immediate families has known about my diagnosis. People are asking what they can do to help and at first, all we had to offer was that gift cards to area vegetarian restaurants or that Visa, Holiday Market, Whole Foods, Target, etc. gift cards to purchase every day items like gas, groceries, even prescriptions were helpful. 

All of those things are still very helpful, but two friends have set up accounts to make it easy for people to help from near or far. At the top of this page you will see links to GoFundMe and MealTrain.

Any donations to GoFundMe will be used for the aforementioned things to help our family while I am going through treatment and surgery. Going from two incomes to one, probably until early next year, in addition to medical costs is daunting. So, this fund is designed to help us with everything from rent and insurance and the electric bill to toilet paper and gas while I'm out of commission. 

MealTrain is designed for people to sign up to bring over dinner or complete other tasks we may need accomplished (who likes to pull weeds? Ha). While meals or groceries are welcome and needed anytime, we especially want to try to still have family dinner on Sundays and Mondays when Claire is here and we are all together (she spends most of her week at her grandparents in the summer). Especially the Sundays and Mondays that fall after I have chemo (right now July 7, 28 and August 18 and probably every three weeks after), as I will likely not be able to make dinner. There are details on the site re: dietary preferences, etc. 

Again, thank you to everyone who has reached out. I can't say that enough. 

Short Hair, Surgery and What Should Have Been Chemo Day 1

Surgery to insert the port went smoothly on Monday. It took about an hour and I was awake and able to talk and answer their questions the whole time. Today, Tuesday, I'm still quite sore, but better than yesterday. I have to take it easy for the next 10-14 days, can't lift James, etc. to make sure the everything heals well. They are able to start using the port right away. 

Today I was supposed to start chemo, but my doctor decided she wants me to do a few more scans and tests before that starts. So, chemo will start next Thursday, July 7, then we return every three weeks. The postponement means we should now get to go on our planned trip to a beach house in August with Daniel's mom and stepdad so that was good news. Silver lining, right? 

Monday night we headed to Lola Salon in Pleasant Ridge to cut my hair. I decided it would be slightly less dramatic and traumatic if I cut my hair short before it started falling out. When that happens, I'll head back to get it buzzed. Now that chemo is postponed, I guess I get to rock the short hair for a little longer than I planned! Lola was wonderful and did a great job.

Sorry to switch from CarePages, for those of you who have been following along there. So many people have had trouble logging in and, as a poster there have been several problems, which they say they are working on with no fix date in site. So we decided to switch to this site, which should be much easier. Once you subscribe you will get an e-mail asking to verify the subscription. After that, whenever I post you will get an e-mail the following day at 8 a.m. with the post or posts from the day before. Of course, you can always come directly to kirstenkickscancer.com to see if there has been an update if you don't want to wait until the next morning for your e-mail to come. 

Feel free to share any and all of this information with whomever you want, wherever you want (including Facebook). The outpouring of love, messages, packages, flowers and good vibes coming our way is overwhelming in the best way. We can't say thanks enough. 

Here are some pictures that Daniel took of the haircut. 

Claire and I before the cut. 

Made it to the weekend

I just want to thank everyone for the messages, emails, texts and calls the last couple of days. We might not be able to get back to everyone, but we appreciate it very much. To those of you sending private messages through CarePages, I'm not sure how to respond directly, but I'll get you info somehow (to those of you with questions). 

In the last two days I've had more scans and tests than I knew existed. I'm getting to know the nooks and crannies of Beaumont Hospital very well. Everyone has been friendly and helpful and communicated amongst themselves to get me where I needed to be without me having to worry too much about it. 

Looking forward to a quiet weekend before surgery Monday.  Thanks again everyone. 

What we know so far.

After some pain, noticing some dense tissue and that my breast looked different, I visited my midwife who ultimately recommended a mammogram. That led to biopsies on June 10 and an ultrasound that revealed a mass, which was also biopsied. 

June 14 I was officially diagnosed with cancer with more details yet to be revealed. In the week since, we have learned it's inflammatory and invasive -- throughout my entire breast. It's considered Stage 3. 

We met with a surgeon June 21 who explained how invasive the cancer is as well as two major factors that help determine the course of action. First, we learned that the HER2 oncogene is present, which only appears in 1 in 5 cancers of this kind. That means that it's far more aggressive. On Monday, June 27 I had surgery to insert a port for easy IV access. The next day I will begin chemotherapy -- every three weeks for 18 weeks. During chemo, I'll get two drugs that specifically target the HER2 genes. After chemo is done, I will continue to receive one of the HER2 drugs every three weeks for 7 1/2 more months. 

Within a month of chemo ending I will be having a mastectomy as well as radiation, but there's lots more to determine there in the next few months.

We also know the cancer is estrogen receptor positive, meaning it's fed by estrogen and is also more aggressive because of that. After surgery, I will be put on medication that will put me into early menopause, thereby cutting off its supply. I will stay on this medication for the next 10 years.

I will be working with a naturopathic oncologist alongside my regular oncologists. He will be helping to support me so I'm as healthy as I can be while going through treatment, doing things to help offset the side effects of chemotherapy and medication, etc. He has me taking many different supplements that will support my vital organs (which can be hit hard by chemo), my immune system, help me sleep, etc. I'm very grateful to know doctors like this exist, to have been referred to a great one and for my oncologist to welcome it. He also says I need to start working out, so if anyone wants to get back into yoga with me, I think that's where I'm going to start. 

We are doing OK. It's been a real doozy of a week. Claire is away for the week, so we will tell her when we see her on Sunday. We ask that if you see her around Royal Oak, etc. this weekend, please say nothing. James doesn't have a clue, of course, other than knowing I have some boo-boos and I suppose it will continue that way. My mom will be taking her for the weekend and into next week so we can focus on getting some things in order, spending Sunday alone with Claire and deal with the port and chemo number 1 more easily. 

Chemo isn't the chemo of the movies anymore. I'm told very small percentage of patients get nauseous or actually throw up and if I do they can give me more/different meds to help. I apparently will actually feel OK for the first couple of days and, after the drugs they give me with chemo wear off, I will feel pretty tired. A friend who recently completed 20 weeks of chemo said at worst she felt like she had a really bad flu and had some pretty wicked heartburn. I'm hoping to fare so well. The first chemo will be several hours. After that, they said to expect 3-4 hours each time. 

My doctor does not want me to work throughout chemo. I will likely cut my hair short in the next few days. I'll probably be bald by the Fourth of July.

A lot of people are asking what they can do and right now. A friend is setting up a GoFundMe page and another a MealTrain page, so we'll share those at some point soon.

I'm sure there are times we will need some help perhaps entertaining James, buying food, etc. In fact, food will be a major one. I probably won't be much up to cooking and will be eating vegan with no refined sugar and limited refined carbs. We will probably frequent the handful of vegetarian and vegan restaurants and juice places (Inn Season, Cacao Tree, Seva, Anita's, Om Cafe, Drought, Urge)  in the area for takeout as well as the good delis at area markets, like Whole Foods, Plum, Holiday, etc. Of course, Daniel and the kids won't be on as strict of diets. 

For everyday household expenses and supplies, gas, etc. general Visa gift cards and Target cards or maybe Amazon would come in very handy. 

Until things are further underway we are keeping the news off of Facebook, so we would appreciate it if you could as well. In the last week I have reached out to three friends who have been or are going through this and two of them, had it not been for Facebook, I would not have known. After the dust settles and we get past next week I may be a little more out there with it because this stinks and if I can help someone down the road because they knew I went through it, I would love that they came to me. That being said, you are welcome to tell anyone or share this page with anyone who you think would want updates.

Thanks for all the love, 
Kirsten and Daniel