Quiet Week Ahead

I'm finally feeling well and looking forward to a healthy week ahead with the family. We've got plans to hit the cider mill on Saturday morning -- along with everyone else in Metro Detroit most likely. We haven't gone in a few years -- since before James existed -- and it will be her first time there. And, dare I say her first donut? I told her about it today on the way to school and she's very excited for a donut, "special apple juice" called cider, pumpkins and maybe some animals. Depends on where we end up going. Even though she's normally at her mom's Saturday, Claire's going to come back to our house so we can go as a foursome. We haven't had a picture of the four of us for a year so I'm hoping we can find a kind stranger to take a decent photo of us somewhere. 

My biopsy was Wednesday and went fine. For something that they made sound horrible it was no big deal. FAR better than my first series of biopsies, one of which was very near by ribs and I could feel no matter how much they numbed me. This was me laying face down on a table for about 45 minutes without moving while I went in and out of the MRI machine and eventually they did the biopsy. It felt like they took five or six tissue samples. Afterwards I was bleeding a little more than they liked so they kept me there trying to resolve it for an extra 45 minutes or so. They say I'm going to have one heck of a bruise for several weeks. It was a little uncomfortable the first night but two days later it's barely sore and I'm doing fine. I heard the doctor say it was superficial so I'm guessing that's why. 

Last time my biopsies took about 48 hours to get the results. They were done around 4 p.m. on a Friday and by Tuesday afternoon (not counting the weekend) they were calling to tell me I had cancer. SO, I'm hopeful to hear sometime today or, if not, by Monday. I'm still hopeful it comes back as a random cyst so we're still just dealing with the right side for lymph nodes, etc. during surgery. But, it is what it is or some other cliche and I'll deal with it if it's not. 

I finally made it to my first support group at Gilda's Club across the street. It's a group for women under 40 who have breast cancer. It was good for a couple of reasons. For one, a lot of people have it worse than me or are facing more challenges than me. After a series of side effects, struggles and hospitalizations, it was a good reminder that I'm fortunate in many ways despite a series of unfortunate events. My cancer seems to be contained within one (or two, I suppose) breasts. One woman who learned she had breast cancer while simultaneously suffering from a broken back because the cancer had spread to her bones. There's no reason to think I can't return to my profession after I'm through treatment. While I continue to have a hard time with the fact that having more kids has been taken from me, I'm lucky and happy to have Claire and James already. I have a supportive partner instead of A) not having one at all and B) having one who will surprise me with divorce papers the day after my last chemo. These are just a few of the ways I know I'm lucky. 

It was also good because a woman was there who just had a double mastectomy three weeks ago. As I start to mentally prepare for surgery, I'm feeling a mix of emotions. It's just plain weird to have to lose body parts. And, quite frankly, I don't want to. Add to that the anxiety of what the actual pain and experience is going to be like. She was doing great though, mentally and physically and it was good for me to see. She was moving around great and said she wasn't necessarily supposed to be up and about but that going to a meeting seemed justifiable. She was an open book and showed me her scars which, for being so new especially, didn't look that bad. It calmed one or two of my nerves. :)

Well, I'm going to make the most of this day of feeling well and get some things done around the house. Have a good weekend everyone -- enjoy the last of these mild temps!