Almost There

Well, my famous last words of "without any hospital stays..." Throughout Sunday, my anxiety and uneasiness got worse. By the time I was attempting to go to bed, I couldn't sit still, didn't feel well, my heart was racing, I was short of breath if I did the slightest activity. I came downstairs and Daniel said I looked pale. We were left to assume my heart again, as it's exactly what happened last time, and decided to go in. 

I got to the ER about midnight and they thought they saw some fluid around my heart. Not as much as last time, but some. So they admitted me. I didn't get to bed until about 4 a.m. and they were waking me up before 7 for tests and scans. They gave me some stuff to help me sleep throughout the afternoon. I was in a cushy oncology room this time, all to myself, so that helped. If you're sleeping they will quietly open your door and back out and get your vitals a little later most times. It's sooooo much more accommodating than some of the other areas of the hospital. 

They sent me for a heart scan that morning, where, again they thought they saw a little fluid. I was still feeling uneasy and having trouble being comfortable. It's not "oh, this hospital bed is uncomfortable" uncomfortable. I don't know how to explain it. Like crawling out of my skin. But it wasn't as bad as at home. They had a portable monitor on my heart and every time I would significantly move around or go to the bathroom they would come see what was up -- I guess my heart rate was getting pretty high with even minimal activity. 

At 10 p.m. Monday I had a CT Scan. The heart doctor, who had drained the effusion last time, came to see me Tuesday morning and said the CT Scan showed no fluid. He said the other tests must have mistakenly identified some sort of tissue as a little fluid. There are some conflicting theories as to what was actually going on between the various doctors, but ultimately the heart doctor said he thought my heart being goofy because of chemo. I know chemo is supposed to be hard on your heart. They said that my resting heart rate is a little higher going through chemo and when you JUST had chemo, are perhaps a little dehydrated (I was doing my job! I was drinking water -- you can only do so much!), it can make your heart rate rise and the general fatigue can make you winded. I feel like I went there for no reason, but they said I did the right thing and never to hesitate to go in. In the grand scheme of hospitalizations this one was pretty easy. Never fun to be away from home and just feeling all those things stinks. But I was home by Tuesday afternoon. 

I've always heard that the longer you're in chemo the tougher it is on you and the longer it takes you to recover. I'd say that is definitely happening. It's Wednesday morning now and I really hoped a night at home would help me feel a little better. I didn't sleep well last night and I'm feeling rough. I suppose I'm a little eager to get back to that 'feeling good' point. But I guess I have another lazy day ahead of me. 

My only task I need to accomplish today is to pick up all my films from the hospital where I was originally tested back in May so I can take them to my biopsy tomorrow. They actually just called to say the biopsy may not happen. Apparently they're doing an ultrasound first, THEN deciding whether an actual biopsy is happening or not. I'm assuming so and I guess it will be a pleasant surprise if not. The last biopsy was pretty brutal, so I'm hoping this one won't be so bad. 

Hoping to make it to the fundraiser in Ionia this weekend, but that requires driving, etc., so we'll see. I'm hopeful. It looks like it's going to be a lot of fun and hopefully I can make it to Ionia and at least come down to Steele Street Hall for a couple of hours. It's 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. and there will be BBQ, a silent auction, 50/50 raffle, live music. All of the info is on Facebook HERE. One concern is the fact that cold and flu season has reared it's ugly head. My immune system isn't top notch right now so if I do go, please don't be offended by my mask and the fact that I won't be hugging or touching anyone. I just can't risk it right now and need to stay as healthy as possible. 

My lovely friend Stephanie is hosting a donation-based yoga class at Yoga Shelter Grosse Pointe at 1 p.m. Sunday as well. I won't be able to do yoga this weekend after the biopsy, but I hope to arrive toward the end of class to say hello to everyone and maybe sneak in for some quiet time at the end there. All the details are HERE on Facebook. 

I imagine I'll get some results on the biopsy by early next week. So until then I just have to rest, recover, take advantage of those "good" days when they come and wait for number six. I'm dreading it and CANNOT WAIT for it. I'm ready to be done with chemo for sure. Hopefully that will go as planned and Daniel and I will successfully go on our little Florida getaway before surgery without a hitch. Thanks again for all the well-wishes and check-ins this week!