Moving Forward

Hi! I'm sitting by the fire catching up on a few things and am slowly starting to feel like a normal human again. Maybe it's because I wore non-pajama clothing and actually left the house today.

We met with my plastic surgeon this morning. He said, in general, I seem to be healing well in that there is no infection, no fluid collection etc. There is one area of concern. On the far right of the right incision (nearest my armpit), there's been a large, flat, blue area since surgery -- thanks to the blue dye they injected me with to find the lymph nodes they removed. Sometimes it doesn't quite heal the way it should over there because of the dye and that may be what's happening with me.

It's basically a large/tall scab instead of a straight line. He's only working for a few hours on Wednesday next week and he wants me to come in. If it's not doing better, he said I'll have to go in for a quick, outpatient procedure to cut around and surgically remove the scab and resew the area. (Not sure exactly when that would happen). This does not sound like fun to me, despite the fact that he said it's really no big deal. Of course, it's pretty ugly so if it's going to heal up quicker and prettier, I guess that's good. He said they will not proceed with radiation until I'm 100% healed so we can't wait indefinitely to see how it's going to heal. We've only got a matter of weeks to deal with before they need to get going with radiation. 

On that note, he started filling my right side today which I thought wasn't going to happen for two more weeks. I forgot that he will only fill the right side until radiation is over -- the machine can get a better angle if the left side is flatter. SO, I'll be quite lopsided for the next three or four months. Then, when radiation is over, he'll fill the left to match over the course of several weeks. This process is supposed to be quite painful, from what I've heard, but this first one isn't so bad. At least not yet. It's definitely more uncomfortable than the left, but not too bad as long as I don't stand up super straight. (I think I'm going to be a hunchback by the end of this). 

Now that I'm three weeks out from surgery, he said I can use Advil/Motrin which should help my discomfort more than Tylenol. We'll see. I meet with my oncology surgeon tomorrow, I think to go over my pathology report in detail and perhaps she'll have more details on when radiation needs to get started. Past conversations lead me to believe radiation (every day for six weeks) will probably begin mid-February.

Today the doctor said we can't complete the reconstruction until six months after radiation ends. Post-surgical complications, infections, etc. go way down if you wait at least six months. So, if radiation is done early April, that puts my surgery to remove the expanders and put in implants in October. I really thought all of this would be over before then (not to mention these stiff expanders are no picnic), but as long as it's all done right the first time I can handle it. 

I'm still really sore and not sleeping great, unfortunately, but most things are getting better every day. I have had a couple of tough days, mentally. It's tough to wake up in pain every day for this long, even if it's not major pain, and to feel helpless at home. I'm trying to not be too hard on myself and just let myself be frustrated and sad if that's what I'm feeling. My guess is not sleeping great contributes to this. Most days I'm doing just fine. I'm grateful to have the cancer out of me and to see and feel improvements every day. I'm good more than not and the holidays will be a lovely distraction. James is really pumped about all the presents she's being told are coming her way. :) 

I still can't lift more than 10 pounds and need to restrict my movements (reaching, pushing, pulling) as much as possible. The more restricted the better and faster I'll heal. So, I'll do my best -- following orders and hoping for things to move along quickly.

Next week I'm finally returning to acupuncture -- my hot flashes are still driving me crazy, so I'm eager to get back into it. Perhaps it can help with my sleep too. I've got my regular Herceptin infusion next week also.

We're going to lay low over the holidays. It will be strange not to see either of our families on Christmas Eve or Day, but I think we need some down time at home together. If I was a little further out from surgery I might be more up for travel, but this year we just need to hang at home. Hopefully after the New Year I'll really be feeling better and can be out in the world more (and a lot more helpful at home too).

Happy Holidays, everyone! And thanks for the continued support. I love getting everyone's holiday cards and seeing all of the family photos. :)