Well, Crap.

UPDATE: If you already read this Tuesday afternoon/evening, there's an update at the bottom, FYI.

I write to you again from Beaumont Hospital. This time for a new ailment. 

I started feeling pretty uncomfortable on Sunday morning/afternoon. I felt like I was crawling out of my skin, couldn't get comfortable and was generally feeling anxious. That led to a night that wasn't very restful and by Monday morning my heart was racing and pounding and I felt like I was perhaps having some kind of panic attack. My doctor sent me to get some heart function tests since I didn't want to go to the ER if I was, in fact, just having anxiety. No offense, kind nurses, but I'm sick of this hospital. 

We went in for the tests and my anxiety was still at an all time high. I had a hard time laying still enough to get through it to be honest. And that was after the anxiety meds the doctor already had called in for me. 

Within an hour of returning home I got a call that I was to head back to the ER ASAP. I have something called pericardial effusion -- fluid around the heart. And something else, the name of which I forget, but is associated. BUT, it's apparently not bad enough that it's causing cardiac tamponade -- which is actually affecting the function of the heart. So that's a good thing. 

Those are the basics I know without having yet spoken to the main cardiologist who is supposed to be here to talk to me at some point today after seeing all the tests. Ways of dealing with it include: nothing -- just watching it; using a needle and draining the fluid; and surgery, the details of which I'll omit because we're not there yet or probably/hopefully ever. I'm still getting short of breath and my heart rate goes up quite a bit when I get up to even go to the bathroom so that's not ideal (I don't think). But again, I have a lot left to learn. Hopefully the doctor will be in soon. It's almost 6 p.m. 

I'm not exactly clear on what causes it -- the one doctor I spoke to said it can happen in healthy people, an infection can cause it, or various other conditions. I know chemo is pretty hard on the heart, so I'm guessing that has something to do with it. I'll get more answers when I talk to the doc.

Meanwhile, I'm dealing with the regular ailments that come with the post-chemo fog -- nausea, stomach issues, etc. But they've got me hydrated, on nausea and other meds and are taking good care of me. 

This time I get to be on the "Progressive" floor -- one step down from ICU -- I guess because it involves my heart. I'm not going to lie -- I miss my cushy oncology digs. I'm sharing a room with a lovely 92-year-old woman who seems to be just the sweetest. Unfortunately, she has many ailments which means a constant rotating door of nurses, doctors, call buttons going off, relatives visiting and chatting, tests needing to be taking, test results needing to be revealed, physical therapy options discussed.... you get the idea. Therefore, I've literally gotten minutes of sleep at a time since I was admitted Monday evening. Fingers crossed for a calmer night tonight. 

While I was in the ER waiting to be admitted a reporter from the Sentinel -- where I had my first newspaper job -- called to talk to me for a story about some fundraising efforts in Ionia for Ionia Community Awareness Purple Week, which brings awareness of and raises funds for those affected by cancer. They were kind enough to donate some Whole Foods gift cards to me and he wanted a quote. The two calls in one day told me he was on deadline (I may not be a reporter anymore, but I haven't forgotten!), so I called him back despite the chaos of the ER, and how I was feeling. All I'll say is... I hope whatever I said made sense. Ha. 

More news after they figure this out and I blow this pop stand. 

UPDATE:
The cardiologist was here a few minutes ago (about 8 p.m.). They need to drain the fluid. It will tell him 100% what it is, why it's there, etc., since there are many variables at this point. They're transferring me to the cardiac ICU momentarily (where at least I'll be in my own room! Yahoo!). In the morning they will drain the fluid. They'll leave a drain in for a couple of days and if nothing much happens, that's good news in addition to what he determines after draining it. He explained it all in detail -- with drawings and everything! -- but that's the layman's version. It sounds like I'll be awake but "good and relaxed" according to him. He said he's done two of them in the last 48 hours and he promises I'm in good hands. I believe him. :)