Almost Half-Way There!

I'm writing this Friday afternoon after my 12th radiation. Twelve down, 18 to go. I'm seriously sick of going to the hospital every day, sometimes twice a day (though I try to schedule my appointments together, which has mostly worked out). In the last 2-3 days my skin has definitely started to get really pink, bordering on red in some spots, and is starting to get painful, especially on the side and under the armpit area. My doctor, who checks the progress every Tuesday, doesn't want me to put anything on it for now so I'm following orders. Below is the machine  I use each time, though the staff is inconsistent from day to day since I'm there at shift-change. They call it a "couch" which is the silliest name for it ever. I think the worst part while I'm actually there is my tailbone digging into the table -- not very couch-like. Everyone on staff is fantastic, though, and there are at least a couple of people who are there more days than not. 

In addition to the redness and pain, I'm exhausted. He told me "fatigue" would be a side effect of the radiation, particularly at the dose I'm getting, but I've been kind of shockingly tired. James has been an early riser lately too, so that coupled with not sleeping the greatest has been a challenge. Fortunately, most days, I can take a nap. Sometimes it's not the kind of tired that can be helped with a nap though. Just dragging my body around is tiring. Walking up stairs. My whole body feels bruised too, especially the back of my right arm/shoulder. It's felt that way since surgery, but was starting to feel better until radiation started up. Still a million times better than chemo though. Just different. 

My appetite comes and goes depending on the day. I'm happy to have a taste for fruits and vegetables again and my body is tolerating it well. I've put on almost 10 of the 20+ pounds I lost, so that's good. I truly like eating salads, etc. though and I'd rather eat healthy and feel well than eat garbage just to put some pounds back on. I tend to eat a little more well-rounded diet when I eat out so maybe that's the key! A friend gifted us the vegan meal service Purple Carrot and I've kept it going for the last few weeks, as I think it's helping me eat more well-rounded meals with more protein, etc. than when I just throw a salad together for myself. The meals have been really good and I'm getting some recipes I can use for work down the road, so it's a win-win. Hmmm.... is it a business expense??? :) 

Other than that, not much is new. We're trying a couple of new things to hopefully help with my sleep. My iron should be creeping up following the iron infusions and, therefore, my white blood count should hopefully start climbing too. Of course, that can take a hit with radiation a bit. I'm still getting my Herceptin infusions every three weeks. Acupuncture every week or two.

Looking forward to getting James outside in the sun this weekend, which will be good for me too. It's hard to make myself do much these days due to physical, mental and emotional exhaustion. I've seriously lacked motivation, even with minor tasks around the house, unfortunately. It's hard to go through this and have to parent, but I also think the girls are a big part of the reason I'm up and at 'em, running errands, picking up and dropping off, packing lunches, making meals. I'm afraid if it were just Daniel and I, he might be fending for himself and I'd be in bed. I'm not sure how people who have treatments that last much longer than mine hang in there because, well, I'm tired of cancer. But good things happen every day. I try to remind myself that I'm winning the war, as silly as it sounds, and things could be much worse. This part won't last forever and the finish line is in sight. 

The cards and notes and blankets (yes, multiple!) and gift cards continue to keep our spirits up and come in very handy, so thank you very much. Have a great weekend, everyone!