Number Three Done!

I had my third chemo today -- dragging myself to the finishing line. I know I'm getting close to the end, but the last couple of days have been tough. I'm just so tired of it all. Not that I've never had this feeling before, and it always passes. In a day or two I'll put on my big girl pants and get back to that "Let's do this" mentality. I think I've just been dreading going back to the drawing board of feeling like crap with chemo today after I was finally starting to feel a little better again. 

BUT, here I am. Considering how poorly I did after the second round, the doctor decided to drop the dosage down another 20%. I may have been mistaken about the 5% I thought she said last time. SO this is the lowest it can be and still be considered effective. She said a study out of New York showed it to be equally effective if you stagger the two drugs -- we could have just done the one drug today, the other drug in two weeks, the first drug two weeks after that and the second drug to week after that. That would spread out my chemo by at least an extra month and mentally I just cannot do it right now. I said no. I need this to be over sooner than later. Even if that means I spend more weeks in the hospital. 

So, we did the reduced dosage and we're going to watch my numbers very carefully over the next week. Each time I go in for fluids (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) she's also going to do bloodwork so she can keep an eye on all my numbers and see how they're trending. If they drop a lot between Monday and Wednesday and, let's say I get a fever on Thursday again, she'll just admit me to the hospital without me having to go in the ER, etc. OR maybe the reduced dosage will be enough to keep my numbers from dropping too far. We'll see. 

Today my white blood cells were at 5.2, so still in a healthy range, but last time I had chemo they were at 9 and dropped to .9 a week later, just to give some perspective. So, who knows what will happen. My neutrophils are also in a healthy range (3.02) and my hemoglobin is lower than normal (10.8) but not too low. They'll be keeping a closer eye on that than they were last time. Looking back, my hemoglobin was only 8 something last time I had chemo, so it was already pretty low. I don't know if they weren't concerned or they were just so focused on the white blood cells, etc. that it didn't register. I don't know if any of these numbers make sense to most of you, but I know they do to a few of you, so I guess those are for you few. 

I got some good news today. A couple of weeks ago I started to have mild abdomen pain and mentioned it to the doctor the last time I was in the hospital, but he wasn't concerned. Monday when I got home it was hurting me a bit and when I felt around, I felt a little lump in there. Almost like a long bead somewhere under the skin. I called the doctor the next day and at first they said they would just see me today, then called back five minutes later. Basically, "If it CAN happen, it happens to you, so let's get it checked out." I didn't mention it to anyone until I knew what it was. Honestly, I was hoping it was a hernia (I didn't think 'nothing' was an option). Long story long, I had an ultrasound this morning and it's just a little hematoma -- a collection of blood likely due to the shots I consistently was getting in my belly in the hospital for two of the last three weeks. At some point, someone must have hit a blood vessel. It should dissipate easily over time. Whew. 

That's about it. My mom's coming to take James for the weekend which will be a huge help. I never rest quite as much as I could or would when she's here and Daniel's got a bunch of work to do, so it's going to save us for sure. Here's hoping the reduced dosage helps me feel not quite as crummy and we'll just have to see what happens with my numbers. I'm going to go in for fluids tomorrow, so that should help me get through the weekend a bit.

See you on the other side -- hopefully from the comfort of home, as much as I really do love all of my nurses from 8 South. :)