Reporting from Home Base

And by "home base" I mean my actual home, not the hospital, which sort of feels like my home at this point! I went in four times this week to get my counts checked (three of those for fluids too). On Monday, my counts were crazy high because I was on day 3 after getting the Neulasta shot -- which I get the day after chemo to help boost my white counts. I had never seen numbers like that, as I have never had my numbers checked on day 3, and was confused -- the nurse had to explain to me why my white blood cell count was 34 (the average person is between 4 and 10). 

The next day, though I wasn't scheduled to come in for testing or fluids, I had a temperature hovering between 99 and 99.9, had the chills and felt pretty lousy. I eventually texted the doctor and she asked me to pop in for blood work. My WBC had dropped to 11 in one day. BUT, that obviously isn't a terrible number still and wasn't totally unexpected, so I came home and rested. The next day I felt more of the same -- still a slightly elevated temp, chills and my stomach was upset. I was nervous. My WBC had dropped to 4 since the day before, but again, not the worst. The nurse told me I might be feeling crummy just because they were dropping. 

The following two days I started to feel a little better. I also "slept in" (those quotes are for anyone who is a parent and knows that 8 or 8:30 a.m. is a true luxury) those days and I know that didn't hurt. When I went in yesterday (Friday) my white count was 1.8. So, that's obviously not great. I officially need to be careful in public, (and let's face it, at home -- I have a toddler in daycare) and am crossing my fingers so hard that my numbers don't drop anymore they might break. 

The office is closed on Monday, so I might go in Tuesday to get blood work. I just want a couple of days to do something about it if my numbers are super low. I don't want to postpone chemo even a week. I don't have faith that my counts will bounce back on their own in a week and I just really need this to be over with. I'm not feeling quite as down about it as I was a week ago, though. I think that is thanks to some sunshine and an an extended stay at home, during which I actually feel pretty decent. 

James got up at 5:45 a.m. today and by 7 a.m. I was zipping around the house cleaning, etc., if that gives you any indication as to how I'm feeling today. Pretty darn good. Obviously I don't want to overdo it, but it feels good to be contributing to the house a little. 

Claire's 14th birthday is today, which is so crazy to me. She was exactly James's age when I met her. Her 4th birthday was the first I had a hand in - a little party at Daniel's old house in Ferndale with some of his family and friends, who I was just getting to know. I remember it vividly and can't believe it's been a decade since. She wore a dress, a crown and sparkly shoes, not unlike the ones James has insisted on wearing for the last three days since we unpacked them from the summer hand-me-downs.

James seems to have turned the corner in not being a total nightmare to take to a  restaurant, which we discovered last night at a nearby Mexican joint and this morning out for breakfast, before heading to the park for a bit. I've been craving a margarita lately so at dinner last night I ordered the cherry limeade off the virgin drinks menu and asked them to salt the rim. Close enough! After we got James in bed, the three of us got to a regular ritual of late -- playing the board game Ticket to Ride, a gift from my mother-in-law. Claire is the master.  I have enjoyed playing it with the knowledge I am unlikely ever to win, but somehow I was able to defeat the master! Sad on her birthday, I know. I'll put a quarter in her therapy jar for that one. 

I hope to have an extremely uneventful and peaceful weekend where we can just enjoy each other and relax. Hopefully a week from now I can say the hardest stuff is behind us and we can start to look forward.